I am sitting in silence, softly gazing upon the star lit sky. So many thoughts and questions dancing in my head. Warm tears of hurt and pain slowly gliding down my cheeks. No one knows, I am on the terrace in the middle of the night.
What was I doing there? The burden of the hurt was too much to handle for me. "You are fat. You should reduce weight. I am saying this that your health doesn't get affected in the future".. Were his words. Which pinched me to the core. 'I am not good enough. I will never be good enough'.. Were the words I was repeating to myself constantly. This belief, of 'not being good enough' in my relationships, hit me hard not once, not twice but many times throughout my life. This was just one more incident to bring that belief up to the surface.
It took me a while to realize that, he is showing me my own mirror. The beliefs that I carry inside of me, attract into my life, people and situations which mirror them in the outer reality. And when this realization set into action, I knew what I had to do!
I had to work on my belief - I am not good enough - which was stemming from varied incidents from the past as well as from the previous life times! (yes. I did a few regressions on myself too.)
It wasn't an easy task definitely. Peeling away and clearing layers and layers and layers of relationship wounds, experiences and incidents responsible for instilling this belief in me, was not easy. Often times, it would challenge my courage to stand up against the people I love. Many a times it would push me into the depths of the emotional turmoil I may have gone through to release it all. And finally, it took a whole lot of courage and love for self to change that belief into I AM GOOD. I AM ENOUGH.
It took constant reminders to self, constant awareness of what and how I feel, constant work at the subconscious level to reach a point to be able to turn the belief around. Has it changed? Yes! It has. Do I believe that I am good enough? NO. I BELIEVE I AM THE BEST.
And I really mean it. I love myself to the point that I now KNOW that I am the best and that whoever my future husband is, is going to be the luckiest guy on this planet.
So what happened to my weight? Ahh. Well, self love comes with acceptance. And I accept myself the way I am. Am I taking care of myself to stay healthy. YES. That is something which has changed too..
What was I doing there? The burden of the hurt was too much to handle for me. "You are fat. You should reduce weight. I am saying this that your health doesn't get affected in the future".. Were his words. Which pinched me to the core. 'I am not good enough. I will never be good enough'.. Were the words I was repeating to myself constantly. This belief, of 'not being good enough' in my relationships, hit me hard not once, not twice but many times throughout my life. This was just one more incident to bring that belief up to the surface.
It took me a while to realize that, he is showing me my own mirror. The beliefs that I carry inside of me, attract into my life, people and situations which mirror them in the outer reality. And when this realization set into action, I knew what I had to do!
I had to work on my belief - I am not good enough - which was stemming from varied incidents from the past as well as from the previous life times! (yes. I did a few regressions on myself too.)
It wasn't an easy task definitely. Peeling away and clearing layers and layers and layers of relationship wounds, experiences and incidents responsible for instilling this belief in me, was not easy. Often times, it would challenge my courage to stand up against the people I love. Many a times it would push me into the depths of the emotional turmoil I may have gone through to release it all. And finally, it took a whole lot of courage and love for self to change that belief into I AM GOOD. I AM ENOUGH.
It took constant reminders to self, constant awareness of what and how I feel, constant work at the subconscious level to reach a point to be able to turn the belief around. Has it changed? Yes! It has. Do I believe that I am good enough? NO. I BELIEVE I AM THE BEST.
And I really mean it. I love myself to the point that I now KNOW that I am the best and that whoever my future husband is, is going to be the luckiest guy on this planet.
So what happened to my weight? Ahh. Well, self love comes with acceptance. And I accept myself the way I am. Am I taking care of myself to stay healthy. YES. That is something which has changed too..
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