Work too much?

Pause. This might be for you.
Hurt. Pain. Grief. Are some of the emotions which people usually shy away from. During the times of intense emotional breakdown, majority, from the masses do not wish to face the pain and the grief. And in doing so, they tend to aviod the emotions. As much as denial and shock are ways in which the emotions could be avoided, taking to work also is one.

I have come across many, who, just choose to ignore their feelings and get themselves busy with work. So much so that they drown themselves in work. There is nothing more in their life, but work! There is constant activity around them. They choose to immerse themselves (and their conscious mind) in their work that there is seldom any time to even think about the hurt and pain. Be it after the loss of a loved one, or a break up or any major hurtful experience.

I, myself, once was prey to being workaholic. Constantly doing so much that eventually at the end of the day, I would be drop dead tired and go to sleep. Only to continue with the same routine. Giving myself no time to go back to the dreadful experiences I've had. Day after day after day.

There is no problem with work. The problem is when you choose it as a defence mechanism to not feel your feelings. Either because you are too scared to accept. Or because you cannot let go! In the end, it boils down to NON-ACCEPTANCE of what has happened. While in that phase, everything 'seems' to be normal and life 'seems' to continue just fine.

Shit hits the fan, when the work's over! Or when the body and mind are accustomed to the new routine, so much that it no longer takes any conscious effort to do the same. It becomes a part of you. That, is when all the bottled up, unspoken, unexpressed feelings of hurt and pain come crashing down. Stronger. Because all this while, those emotions did nothing but get suppressed inside. And that, is the real trouble. Where you don't know what to do next.

The feelings, which you 'assumed' to no longer be there, come pouring down. With no where to go. And at this point of time, it becomes all the more painful to even think about them, let alone release them. Which requires reliving those experiences and feeling the pain. One more time.

To be continued...