Victimhood - A serious matter. Part 2.

✨ VICTIMISATION. A serious matter.

Understanding that all of us go through the energy of being a victim, at some point of time or the other is important. That doesn't mean that it turns anyone bad. It only puts one in a state of constant sadness and disappointment, when the victim chooses to be in that state 24x7.

Many a times, we are hurt by the ones we love, go through  stages of disappointment or heart break, or are faced by severe circumstances. During times like these, it is only natural to question the universe and feel "why me?"
This why me leads a person to getting into victimhood. Where all he/she can think about is the efforts he/she put to get the doomed fate in return.

Think about a time when you may have asked yourself  - "why me?" Or "what wrong have I done to deserve a fate/condition/situation like this?" I am sure, you will come across something or the other which made you think in this manner. What I want you to know is this - ITS OKAY.

It is absolutely okay to feel disappointed or sad or hurt or angry. What is not okay, is to stick to that feeling. What is not okay, is to stay in that energy for more than the required time. And it is definitely not okay to overlook and not learn from that situation.

Here are 4 reasons why a Victim chooses to stay in that energy all the time:

1. ATTRACTS ATTENTION:
Being a Victim calls out for attention. And the victim enjoys the personal attention being given to them by their family and friends. Deep dowm, at the subconscious level, this is what they crave for. Attention, affection and care. And when they notice, being a victim gives them exactly that, they knowingly or unknowingly choose to stay in that energy.

2. IT PUTS A STOPPER TO TAKING ACTION.
Victimhood can make a person go from dynamic to dull in minutes. Becuase of the turbulent or the sad energy, they hold back from taking on anything new or divulging in the same sort of situation again. Which, is basically an act of the subconscious mind to prevent the person from feeling the same hurt, pain or trauma again. They conveniently become lethargic and in the name of fear, do not attempt anything similar. Which, could be the only way out of victimhood at times. Being a Victim is an easy way to NOT take responsibility.

3. SYMPATHY.
One of the greatest perks of being a victim is that it attracts a lot of sympathy from others. And thus, the judgements people have about the victim are also dropped to a great extent. This, is one easy way of saving oneself from the fear of judgement. Being a Victim allows them to put the blame on anything; but them.

4. THEY KNOW THAT THEY PLAY THE VICTIM AND ENJOY IT.
Believe it or not, at some point the victim knows that they are dragging the energy and still, they enjoy the benefits (all the points above). Also, they like to pretend to be an example of how to be strong. Which earns them praise and appreciation. Reverse psychology!!! Again, this is what a victim subconsciously desired. They ENJOY being in that energy. It is home to them. They fear coming out of that, and being responsible for thier actions.

All these, can keep a person addicted to being a victim all the time. How do you know if you are falling into this trap of addiction, and what can you do about it? Coming up in the next writeup. Stay tuned. Aho! 🧡🧡🧡

Victimhood - A serious matter. Part 1

✨ Playing a Victim? Or around one?
Read on..

First things first. No one would ever like to confess that they are playing the victim. Hence, its really out of question to ask people - "Hey! Why do you always play the victim?" You might be condemned outright. Jokes apart, this is a very serious and sensitive matter.

Here are 7 ways to identify if you or anyone else is playing the victim:

1. ALWAYS OFF
The victim is someone who is always sulking. There is absolutely nothing in their life to be happy about. Or rather, they are adept in spotting sadness in a happy situation as well. And they are the ones, who, knowingly or unknowingly will put others off as well. With their sullen faces 24x7. Everything around them turns gloomy automatically.

2. EVERYTHING WRONG IS DONE TO THEM AND THEM ALONE.
The victim feels that all the wrong doings in and around, are done only and only with; and to them. They feel that theirs is the most terrible situation. And that everyone likes to pick on them. They feel targeted even when the point of discussion is not them.

3. FEEL SORRY FOR THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME.
The victim will feel sorry for themselves every moment. They feel that their pain, trouble and struggles are the most difficult and constantly feel unfair that they alone, are dealing with the darkness of the world. They feel that they are the only ones to carry the burden of the whole world, hurt and pain on their shoulders.

4. THEY THINK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
"You never understand the pain I go through. The sacrifices I have made. You don't even know what I am going through." Are among the favourite sentences a Victim likes to use. They always feel no one, on this planet understands them.

5. MANIPULATION AND GUILT
The victim will manipulate all the conversations and turn them against you. They will make you feel guilty with their words by telling you how much pain you have caused them by your words. They will go silent for periods to show you how deeply you have hurt them. Not talking with anyone, keeping mum purposely in the middle of a conversation is what they like to do. 

6. DENIAL
The victim outrightly denies everything told to them. They will never accept the truth, instead talk you into how sorry they feel for themselves. It's a blow to their ego to accept their flaws. Pointing them out means triggering more sorry feelings and self pity in them. And thus, they hardly learn their lessons. Because they cannot accept.

7. THEY COME ACROSS AS VERY POSITIVE AND STRONG.
Ever heard about reverse psychology? The victim knows how to use it well. They project themselves to be the most strongest. Being vulnerable with their feelings in front of others is a big no no to them. Where as in reality, all they want is sympathy and attention. And they very well get that by talking about their "so called sorry feelings and self pity" in stylish and most positive ways.

Know that we all play victim at some point in time. And its okay. When we genuinely feel like one, its okay to feel it fully, learn from it and let that feeling GO. However there is a difference in feeling it as a vulnerability and being in victimhood 24x7.

How to differentiate it and know that you are learning from it, is coming up in the next write up. Stay tuned.. Aho! 💙💚💙